{"id":3526,"date":"2025-07-13T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-07-13T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cafeconmelli.com\/?p=3526"},"modified":"2025-07-12T17:39:01","modified_gmt":"2025-07-12T17:39:01","slug":"las-culpas-de-ser-working-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cafeconmelli.com\/eng\/las-culpas-de-ser-working-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"The Guilt of Being a Working Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"
After we left the hospital with our first daughter in our arms and the temporary adoption custody signed, the guilt didn\u2019t take long to show up. From the beginning, I had always planned to continue working full time. But quietly, almost without realizing it, the doubts began to creep in. Mostly my own doubts, caught me in a crossroads between what I wanted to do and what I thought I had to do.\nAnd of course, there were always people\u2019s comments\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you're a mom, people have opinions about everything, from diapers, routines, how you feed your baby, and so on. But I took the comments about my choice to be both a mom and a working woman much more to heart. Maybe because it had taken me so much to become a mom, some people assumed it was only natural for me to stay home with the baby. And then I would hear comments like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\"You have to enjoy this stage.\" \n\"Doesn\u2019t it bother you to leave her when she\u2019s so little?\"\n\"Work can wait... the baby can\u2019t.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would smile politely, but deep down, those words unsettled me. They made me doubt myself.\nBecause yes, I wanted to be with my daughter all day.\nBut I also wanted to keep working. I wanted to fulfill my professional dreams, without letting go of my biggest dream: to be her mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Flexible Schedule\u2026 That Wasn\u2019t So Flexible<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
We were lucky enough to arrange a split schedule: half a day in the office, half a day at home. Since I\u2019m a morning person, I took the morning shift. I\u2019d wake up at 5:30 a.m., give her the 6:00 a.m. bottle, and rush out to work. At noon, we\u2019d switch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In theory, it all seemed to work. But in practice... I never felt 100% present in either role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, I was with my baby, but also with my laptop on top of me. Trying to answer emails with one hand while feeding her with the other.\nAnd when she napped, instead of resting like the books say, I\u2019d use that time to squeeze in more work. I thought it made me more productive. But deep down\u2026 it was draining me, exhausting me, filling me with guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember one night in particular. I got up to give her a bottle, and as I held her in my arms, I broke down inside. I cried silently while she slept. I wanted to stay like that all night, clinging to her, never letting go.\nI felt so guilty about having to leave.\nI knew that in just a few hours, I\u2019d have to get dressed, go to the office, put on my professional face, and continue with the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t want to miss anything, not a smile, not a sigh, not a milestone.\nI was terrified that, by trying to do it all, I was missing the most important part.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wanting to Be Everything\u2026 All at Once<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
And then came the comparisons: my mom, my grandmother...<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mom, with three kids, seemed like she could do it all. I remember watching her work, watching her succeed, going to her office and dreaming of being like her.\nAnd my grandmother, an impeccable homemaker who raised four kids, always well put together, with lunch ready when my grandfather got home, with time for her friends and her hobbies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wanted to be a mix of both. <\/strong>The brilliant professional. The devoted mom, wife.\nThe good friend. And the woman who also had time for herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought I could do it all at once. But reality hit: I couldn\u2019t.\nIt took me time to realize that my mom and grandmother had help, housekeepers, tutors, people who supported them so they could be more present for their kids, their husbands, and their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t have that. I didn\u2019t allow it. I didn\u2019t like asking for help. I felt embarrassed accepting favors.\nBut still, I demanded from myself a level of perfection that just wasn\u2019t possible. I wanted to be a present mom, an efficient professional, a loving wife, keep the house in order\u2026 and also find a little time for myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I expected myself to be available for everything and everyone. To be everything. To have everything. With no breaks. No help. No complaints.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Superwoman Trap<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
With my desire to be \u201csuperwoman,\u201d I kept telling myself: \u201cI can handle this and more.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I think that\u2019s why it took me so long to give myself permission. Permission to ask for help, to pause, to be vulnerable, to be present\u2026 without guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t give myself the chance to admit that while I gave my all as a mom, professional, and wife, there were parts of me that were exhausted, overwhelmed, a bit forgotten. But those parts also deserved space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even after my second child arrived, I kept the same mindset. I remember the social worker asked me during an interview how I planned to handle having two kids. And I thought the question was so pointless... \n\u201cWhat\u2019s the difference?\u201d I thought.\n\u201cIf I can do everything with one, then two is the same\u2026\u201d A little stubborn, I know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today, with more experience, after asking for help, after letting myself make mistakes\u2026 the guilt still lingers. It still shows up unannounced.\nI\u2019m not sure if it ever fully goes away.\nMaybe it\u2019s just part of being a mom in these times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I\u2019ve learned there\u2019s no such thing as the perfect way to mother. And that guilt softens when we stop comparing ourselves. When we stop trying to be like our moms, our friends, the moms we see online.\nAnd we start embracing who we actually are with the good, the hard, the imperfect.\nThat\u2019s when we begin to find our own rhythm in motherhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
100% Mom or Working Mom?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
It seems like there are only two ways to mother: You either stay home and dedicate yourself fully,\nOr you keep working and balance it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t have the perfect formula. Not even close to all the answers. Honestly, some days I want to be one. Other days, the other. But what I do have is more compassion for myself.\nI give myself more permission to just be me, without so much judgment.\nTrying to find balance, rather than trying to be the perfect mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So if you\u2019re feeling the same\u2026\nIf you\u2019re feeling torn, tired, or guilty\u2026 I see you. You\u2019re not alone.\n\nBeing a mom, working, being a partner, being a woman, it\u2019s all possible.\nIt\u2019s not about doing it all at once. It\u2019s about letting yourself feel, letting go, being present, and finding what works for you. Finding your rhythm.\nBecoming the best version of yourself, whatever role you\u2019re in at the moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grateful to have you here, heart to heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despu\u00e9s que salimos del hospital con nuestra primera hija en brazos y custodia temporal de adopci\u00f3n firmada, las culpas no tardaron en llegar. Desde el principio, siempre estuvo en mis planes seguir trabajando a tiempo completo. Pero en silencio, y casi sin darme cuenta, los cuestionamientos empezaron a hacerse presentes. Cuestionamientos propios m\u00e1s que todo, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3534,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[31],"class_list":["post-3526","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-maternidad-por-adopcion","tag-historia-de-maternidad"],"blocksy_meta":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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