{"id":3609,"date":"2025-08-10T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-10T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cafeconmelli.com\/?p=3609"},"modified":"2025-08-09T20:54:57","modified_gmt":"2025-08-09T20:54:57","slug":"pensamos-teniamos-tiempo-pero-vida-tenia-otros-planes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cafeconmelli.com\/eng\/pensamos-teniamos-tiempo-pero-vida-tenia-otros-planes\/","title":{"rendered":"We thought we had time\u2026 But life had other plans"},"content":{"rendered":"

It all started very much like the first time\u2026 which somehow made me think I knew the way, although it felt a little different. In this adoption process, I experienced a different kind of anxiety, though at the time I didn\u2019t realize that\u2019s what I was feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To begin with, my dream of becoming a mother had already come true, but I carried many internal fears, doubts, and uncertainties going into this new process. I was afraid that somehow we wouldn\u2019t be as lucky as before, and I kept wondering, Will we be chosen again? I worried that this adoption might not happen for different reasons that, in reality, were only in my head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had heard that birth mothers almost always prefer families without children\u2026 We were already a family of three, so I wrongly convinced myself that if we were chosen, the wait in this process would be much longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we had that first meeting, the adoption process followed a very similar path to the first one. I was given my list of documents to submit, and I quickly turned everything in. By the end of the month, we were already attending our individual meetings with the social worker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This time, we were assigned a different social worker than the one who had accompanied us in our first adoption process. From the day I met her, I felt a strong connection. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She had also gone through an adoption process to become a mother to her daughter, so our meetings felt more like conversations between two moms sharing experiences. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

With coffee in hand, our appointments were warm and comfortable; I felt I could speak more freely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember that during one of those conversations, she asked me a question I still can\u2019t get out of my mind. She looked at me calmly, with paper and pencil in hand, and asked:
\u201cHow do you plan to manage your routine with two children, knowing the way you are?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her concern came from knowing that with a newborn and a young child, our pace of life would change, it wasn\u2019t the same to have one as to have two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the time, I didn\u2019t really understand the question. Honestly, it seemed a bit incoherent to me. What was the difference? To me, it was simple, we\u2019d keep the same routine, except now we\u2019d have a double stroller and two car seats. I told her something like that. I remember she smiled\u2026 but didn\u2019t say anything. A while later, I would fully understand that question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unlike the first process, where we were asked what kind of parents we thought we would be, this time we were already parents. The questions focused more on the type of parenting we were practicing; we talked about anecdotes and experiences raising our daughter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One thing I really liked about this second process was that learning about adoption was no longer optional, it was part of the process. We were given a list of courses and books we had to complete, and in the end, we had to submit summaries of each one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One change I didn\u2019t like as much was the family profile book. This time we had to do it through a specialized company. Although they tried to adapt to what we wanted, they had their own policies and procedures, and I feel that took away some of the authenticity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had made the first book with so much excitement, choosing every word and every photo while telling our story. This second one felt a little less ours. Even though we sent the information, every paragraph came back with small editing changes, taking away some of the tone we had at that moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Three months after our first home study appointment, we had everything ready. All that was left was the home visit from the social worker. During that visit, she would see our home and also have her first meeting with our daughter, who was very excited to tell her what a great big sister she was going to be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s when I saw them talking in the room, sitting at the little doll table, and I don\u2019t know why, but I suddenly got it in my head that we needed to move. In my mind, the fact that we didn\u2019t have a separate room for the future baby made us less appealing as a family. It felt like our world was built only for our daughter, and somehow I had to show that we were ready to grow our family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be honest, it took me a while to convince my husband, but after enough insistence, he had no choice but to say yes, and I started my search. Even though the social worker recommended I not do it, that I shouldn\u2019t complicate things because we already had everything ready, I thought: We still have about two years of waiting\u2026 when that time comes, we can update the home study.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Within a couple of weeks, we found our new home. Every room had its owner, and that somehow made me feel calmer. I felt like everything was taking shape. The only small detail was that the house needed some renovations\u2026 but once again, I thought the same thing: it\u2019s fine, we have time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We focused on the paperwork for buying the house, which kept my mind busy during the wait. A few weeks later, in mid-October, the day after we signed the purchase papers, I called the agency to start the process of updating the home study.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And\u2026 surprise\u2026 When I called and asked to speak to our social worker, the agency\u2019s director answered directly. Before I could say a single word, she said:
\u201cI\u2019m so glad you called! We were just about to call you. Is your husband with you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt my heart was about to jump out of my chest. I called my husband and added him to the call\u2026 and then we heard the words that would once again change our lives:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA couple has chosen you to be their baby\u2019s family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only five months had passed since the first meeting\u2026 and those words gave our story a brand-new twist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grateful to have you here, heart to heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Melli<\/h2>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Todo empez\u00f3 muy similar a la primera vez\u2026 lo cual de alguna manera me hizo pensar que conoc\u00eda el camino, pero me sent\u00eda un poco diferente. En este proceso de adopci\u00f3n conoc\u00ed otro tipo de ansiedad, aunque para ese momento no sab\u00eda que eso era lo que estaba sintiendo. Para empezar mi sue\u00f1o de ser […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3612,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-maternidad-por-adopcion"],"blocksy_meta":[],"yoast_head":"\nPensamos que ten\u00edamos tiempo\u2026 pero la vida ten\u00eda otros planes - Cafe con Melli<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Nuestra segunda adopci\u00f3n comenz\u00f3 igual que la primera, hasta que una llamada inesperada cambi\u00f3 todo. 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