Con toda honestidad, puedo decir que nunca he sido buena esperando. La incertidumbre es de las cosas que más me inquietan; a decir verdad, el silencio me impacienta, y cuando no tengo el control… bueno, siento que me cuesta un poco respirar.

I’ve always been the kind of person who wants to see results right away, someone who likes to take action and, yes, solve everything. Waiting has always felt a bit uncomfortable to me. And at many points in my life, the lesson of waiting has been the hardest one to learn.

But then we began the adoption process

And it brought with it a wait that was even more uncertain; yet, in many ways, different. A kind of waiting that, for me, became transformative on so many levels.

The wait began long before the paperwork

Some might think the waiting starts when you officially begin the adoption process. But in my case, the waiting had been living with me for years. It began when I was a little girl dreaming of becoming a mom. Then it would show up every month when I anxiously hoped my period wouldn’t come. It surfaced with every pregnancy test, every doctor’s visit, every sleepless night, every prayer. It was a kind of waiting that hurt deep inside, but it was also filled with hope as well as fear.

When we began our adoption process, that waiting somehow transformed. It was still there, but I no longer felt afraid. On the contrary, it brought a clearer sense of purpose and lessons that still stay with me today.

I learned to let go of control a little.

As much as I read and educated myself, there was no manual for what we were going through. There were no guarantees of when, not even the certainty that we would become parents in the end, or if we would ever get that long-awaited call…

In the midst of all that, I learned to accept that I had already done everything within my power, and the rest no longer depended on me. To be honest, that part was very difficult, but somehow, I managed to make peace with it.

And that was when this phrase became my mantra:

"God’s timing is perfect."

At first, I repeated it to convince myself, but as the days went by, the journey showed me it was true. Even though I couldn’t see it, everything was falling into place exactly as it needed to. Little by little, everything was taking shape.

The waiting prepared me to love unconditionally.

During this waiting period, my heart began to expand. It was something I can’t quite explain: I began to love from a place of uncertainty, without faces or timelines. I spent my time imagining, dreaming, connecting with a baby that didn’t yet exist physically, but who was already growing in my heart. And that’s when I understood that God was not only preparing the way for that baby to reach us, but He was also preparing us for that baby.

Today, I’m grateful that the waiting was part of the plan.

I’m thankful for the lessons it brought with it. I’m grateful that, even though it wasn’t easy, it taught me that not everything in life can be rushed. That miracles need their time. That the plan we have isn’t the same as the one God has for us. And even though it’s hard, many times you just have to let go of control in order to reach your destination.

I still have a lot to learn, but in the meantime, I want to give thanks for showing me that waiting is also part of the plan, for showing me that God’s timing is perfect. And for helping me understand that love is born from the heart.

Grateful to have you here, heart to heart.

Melli