Today I want to be grateful for something that can’t be seen. Something that, for some people, might be hard to imagine or handle, but that in our home is lived with ease: the ability to talk about adoption with love and sincerity.
Since we began this journey that led us to become parents, my husband and I have been aware of how important it would be to always maintain open and honest communication about adoption and how our family was formed. From the moment our children came into our lives, we have created a safe space where they can ask questions, share thoughts, or express what they feel, whenever they need to. Without fear, without taboos, without secrets. Naturally, and above all, with lots of love.
Most of the time, these questions come at the most unexpected moments: while we’re in the car, right before bedtime, doing the dishes… even in front of family or friends. And although some questions stir up deep emotions, I’m deeply grateful they come.
I remember one time my son told me he wished he had come out of my belly and not my heart. At that moment, I swallowed the lump in my throat, and the only thing I could think to say was that he wasn’t just born from my heart, but also from my mind… from how much I dreamed of him, how much I thought of him, how many times I imagined his little face. His response, to my surprise, was: “That’s way cooler than coming out of your belly… I came from your intelligence.” With that sentence, we kept building the Lego set… and the conversation ended.
I don’t always have all the answers, but I always make sure they know I’m here for them, and most of all, I always show them I’ll walk beside them every step of the way.
Like the time my daughter, when she was little, told me she wanted to have a playdate with her birth mom. I was driving, and she asked if we could drive to her house. Being completely honest, I told her that I would love that too, and that if I knew where her house was, we would go, but I didn’t know how to get there.
It’s in those moments that life confirms to me that they feel loved, safe, and free to express themselves. For me, every conversation is a new opportunity to remind them how deeply loved they are, how wanted they were, how lucky we are to be their parents, and how much their birth parents also loved them… so much that they created an adoption plan to give them a better future.
So today, I want to say thank you…
💚 Thanks for the heart to heart conversations.
💚 Thanks for every unexpected question and every loving answer
💚 Thanks for the courage to talk about what’s hard
💚 Thanks for those hugs that say what words couldn’t, and for the looks that say “I’m here.”
💚 And above all, thanks for this strong bond that we’re building every day, with honesty and love.
Grateful to have you here, heart to heart.
Melli
