Love made us a family.

The process we chose, and the one that made our dream of becoming mom and dad a reality, is called infant domestic adoption.When we made the decision, we didn’t know exactly how the journey would unfold. And even though the process of adopting a baby in the United States can seem overwhelming at first, for us it was a path full of love and faith. I had so much faith that this journey would lead me to my baby.

We went to our first official meeting with the social worker. It was like being in an interview where we talked about ourselves, our families, our story, and they explained the process and requirements in more detail.

I left the meeting focused in the task on hand. The way I saw it, my job was to gather all the documents on that check list, and from there on, I would place it in God’s hands. And that’s exactly what I did. I remember getting home and emailing a few documents that afternoon. Attempting to calm my mind and making the wait more bearable, I also focused on reading. I found books and articles that talked about the process. I didn’t know why, but I felt I had to start preparing right away.

As the days passed, we attended individual sessions with the social worker, while also gradually checking off items from that list of requirements.

It was a journey full of emotions, difficult decisions, and above all, full of love:

💛 Love from our friends and family who supported and stood by us from day one. Even though they didn’t always know what to do, they were always there for us. Many of them wrote letters to the adoption agency recommending us as parents. Letters that truly touched our hearts.

💛 Love for that baby we hadn’t met yet, whom we didn’t know when would arrive, but who was already filling our hearts with love little by little. A love that kept us daydreaming and full of hope for the arrival of the little one who would make our dream come true.

💛 Amor por la madre biológica, una persona que no conocíamos pero que desde el principio tuvimos claro que sería muy importante en nuestras vidas, una persona que marcaría un antes y un después en nuestros corazones.

What is Infant Domestic Adoption?

It’s a type of adoption where the birth mother (or in some cases, both birth parents) approaches an adoption agency and, with their support, creates an adoption plan for their baby. This plan outlines what the birth mother is looking for in the family she wants for her child, things like values, lifestyle, beliefs, and other details she considers important.

As prospective adoptive parents, we also filled out a form with the agency where we had to specify the characteristics we were looking for or willing to accept, such as gender, race, medical history, whether we were open to substance exposure or babies with special needs, among other factors.

Llenar este formulario fue una de las partes más retadoras de nuestra experiencia en el proceso de adopción. Recuerdo que fue en el que más días me tardé. Listaba muchas condiciones médicas, razas, historial médico y tenía una columna de sí y otra de no. Primero tuve que instruirme sobre muchas condiciones, entender bien qué significaban y sincerarme conmigo misma. Cada vez que marcaba una casilla, sentía que le decía “sí” o “no” a un bebé… y eso me dolía.

Even though in this case the decision was technically in our hands, I felt that, in reality, it was God’s decision. I always believed that this entire journey was the one God had chosen for us, and I had faith that He knew what He was doing. So I prayed a lot… and I filled out the form.

Types of Adoption: Open, Closed, and Semi-Open (Ours)

Along the way, we learned that not all adoptions are the same, and there are three main models:

💬 Open Adoption: 

There is direct communication between both families. This may include phone calls, visits, letters, etc.

🚫 Closed Adoption: 

This type of adoption doesn’t allow any contact or exchange of information between the parties.

🔗 Semi-Open Adoption (the one we have): 

In this type of adoption, communication takes place through the agency. We send letters and photos and receive medical information. Later on, our children can meet their birth mothers if they wish to do so.

When God Aligns The Stars

En medio de todo este papeleo recuerdo especialmente el día que fuimos a entregar nuestras huellas para el FBI, el último requisito de la lista, y el que nos habían informado que era el que más se tardaba. Le dije a mi esposo: “Vamos a ir en persona” porque no lograba concretar una cita. Cuando llegamos, nos dijeron que sin cita no podían atendernos y que había retrasos en el sistema.

My eyes immediately filled with tears. I felt stuck. My husband tried to encourage me when an officer approached and asked what we needed the service for. I managed to explain, barely holding back tears. She told another officer she would help us, and they let us through.

While she took our fingerprints, she asked me if I could share a little more about the process we were going through. And I poured my heart out. When I finished my part of the story, she said:

“Yo tengo una casa hogar en mi país de origen, y cuando los vi, sentí que tenía que ayudarlos. Sabes que Dios siempre pone personas en nuestro camino por una razón.”

My husband and I were in shock. We couldn’t believe it. It was like an angel had been sent to us. We hugged her tightly, and thanked her from the bottom of our hearts, we walked out of there with our hearts full.

Our Profile Book: A Book Full of Hope

One of the most beautiful parts of the process for me was creating our “profile book”—a sort of album with photos, stories, and descriptions of who we are, how we live, and the home we hoped to offer a baby.

For me it felt like I was writing a book with my heart wide open. Page by page, we captured our essence, hoping that the birth mother God had planned for us would see that love reflected and feel that we were the right family for her baby.

The Agency and the Match

Once all documents were submitted and the social worker interviews completed, the agency compares our profile with what each birth mother is looking for.

When a family’s profile aligns with her preferences, the agency presents her with several options. She then chooses the one that resonates most with her heart. Once she makes her decision, the agency notifies the prospective adoptive parents that a birth mother has selected them. They share her medical history, and if both sides agree, it is an official match.

With Open Hearts, We Waited

I had done my part. Now came the hardest part… waiting.

To our surprise, the wait wasn’t very long. A few days after we had submitted the documents, we were out walking our dog when my phone rang. It was our social worker.

Very casually, she asked if I had started working on the profile book (this wasn’t part of the initial checklist). I told her I had actually finished it already, but it wasn’t printed. I had it in a slideshow format on the computer and could send it to her as a video. She asked me to send it, she’d like to review it.

After hanging up, I told my husband that something about that call felt suspicious… but we didn’t waste any time and sent the video.

A week went by as if nothing had happened. But that following Thursday afternoon…

We got THE call.

A birth mother had seen our video. And she had chosen us.

That was the beginning of the most beautiful journey of our lives. A story of love, faith, and destiny. I share it today with my open heart, hoping that if you are on your own path toward motherhood, these words can offer some light along the way. And if you know someone who needs it, I hope you’ll share it.

Grateful to have you here, heart to heart.

Melli