When we began the adoption journey, I thought the outcome of the process would simply be fulfilling our dream of becoming parents, forming a family by offering a home, stability, love, and care to children who didn’t have them. But as I went deeper into the process, I quickly realized that the way the world often portrays adoption is not always accurate.
There is so much love behind adoption that goes far beyond the Adoption Triad (birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child). There’s also love from social workers, extended families, friends, the people God places along the way to make the process flow, the nurses at the hospital, the attorney, the judge…
When I finally met my children, I understood that they didn’t just come to fulfill my dream, they came to teach me what it means to love unconditionally and to transform my life in ways I could have never imagined.
Adoption didn’t change who I am at my core, but it expanded my heart and my mind in ways I can’t fully explain. It tore down prejudices, challenged ideas and concepts that society had instilled in me, and showed me types of love I had never known.
The road to my children was filled with intense emotions, endless paperwork, and moments that felt straight out of a movie. From all of this came powerful lessons, and today I want to share the ones that stand out the most to me.
💙 The big misconception that children aren’t loved by their birth parents
For me, this has been one of the greatest discoveries of adoption. I know many people have heard the idea that children in adoption processes were not loved or wanted, and that adoptive parents come in to “save” them.
I can’t speak for every story, only for my own two experiences. But I can say with certainty that this was not our case. My children were deeply loved from the very beginning by their birth parents. So much so, that they made a plan to ensure their children would have a future full of opportunities, love, and care.
Through our journeys, we witnessed how, based on unconditional and selfless love, the birth parents carefully chose us and shaped part of their children’s destiny.
♥️ DNA does not define our love
I don’t remember exactly who said it, maybe because part of me preferred to block out that moment, but I do remember being asked how it was possible to love someone who didn’t share your blood.
The question felt superficial and out of place, but I took a deep breath and answered with examples of love that are not tied to genetics.
My husband, for one, is my greatest love, my prince charming. He doesn’t share my DNA, but I love him deeply. He is the one I chose as my partner in this journey of life.
My friends, who are my chosen family, some who have been by my side since childhood and others who joined me in adulthood, also hold an essential place in my heart.
For us, DNA had nothing to do with the love we felt for our children. Even before we chose adoption, that love was already growing inside us for these little ones we hadn’t met yet, who had no faces, who at that time were only a dream.
That love only grew stronger with every visit to the adoption agency, with every form signed, and even in the midst of uncertainty and waiting.
💜 God’s timing and plan are perfect
Without a doubt, the greatest lesson adoption gave me was to trust in God’s timing and plan.
Before beginning this journey, I thought building a family was a linear process: get married, get pregnant, watch your children grow. I trusted that it would be that way for me.
When the road began to close, I lacked the maturity to understand that those obstacles were not coincidences but detours God was placing to guide us toward the right path. Over time, I learned that His plans are different, perfect, and that my role was simply to trust.
The road to my children opened not only my heart but also my mind. It taught me that every step has a purpose, every stage is part of the plan. The waiting, the uncertainty, the paperwork, the interviews, the unexpected phone calls, all of it came at the exact time it needed to, preparing us for what was ahead. They were like the ingredients in this recipe of life that God had prepared for us.
I know every adoption experience is unique, and these are the lessons I learned from my own journey. I hope in some way they inspire those who are seeking their path to family, and also help to educate and show that adoption goes far beyond misconceptions or old ideas that portray it as charity or exclusion.
La adopción está basada en el amor y la conexión, también trae consigo mucho aprendizaje, une corazones y crea lazos desde el respeto, la intención y el cariño profundo.
Every story has its own value and beauty, and every step in the journey has a purpose that transforms the lives of all who are part of it.
Grateful to have you here, heart to heart.
Melli
