My journey to motherhood

Since I Was a Little Girl, I Dreamed of Being a Mom

Since I was very young, I dreamed of being a mom. While other girls played at being doctors or artists, I played house, and I always wanted to keep that game alive. Over time, I understood that society had a specific order for having children—first education, then marriage, and finally kids—but to me, that order didn’t made sense. Being a mom was always at the top of my list.

A Shared Dream

Right before starting college, I reconnected with my childhood crush. We started dating and discovered that we shared the same dream: building a family. During long conversations, we daydreamed about our future children, had already picked out names, and even considered adopting our third child. But life had other plans. We went our separate ways when my family emigrated to the United States, and without realizing it, that dream was put on hold.

From Dream to Reality 

Years later, as adults, he came to visit the U.S., and we met again. We realized that among many things, we still shared the same dream of becoming parents. We graduated, got married, and began trying to make that dream come true. But it wasn’t as easy as we thought. We tried everything, and after seeing a fertility specialist, we were told there was no medical reason preventing us from conceiving. So, we agreed to keep trying naturally until I turned 30, and if we hadn’t succeeded by then, we would consider treatments.

A Surgery, Many Tears, and the Fear of Not Making It

A little over three years passed, and in January of the year I turned 30, we went back to the specialist—this time with the idea of starting fertility treatment (IVF). All the tests looked good, but near the end, they discovered fibroids outside my uterus that, according to the specialist, needed to be removed surgically. The news took us by surprise. How did we go from having perfect test results to needing surgery? But we didn’t waste time. We scheduled the procedure, and by the end of April, I was already in the operating room. 

The surgery was successful. They removed the fibroids without damaging the uterus, which meant we could continue with IVF a few months later. I was sent home to rest for two weeks. But emotionally, I was already shattered. During that time at home, I cried a lot, I prayed, I reflected, I blamed myself—you can imagine how that went. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard to achieve my dream of becoming a mom. 

The Question That Changed Everything

I felt very alone during this process. My sister and closest friends didn’t really understand how I felt, since they hadn’t faced fertility issues. So, in the middle of my sadness, I found comfort reading blogs by people going through—or who had gone through—similar or even more difficult journeys. The post that changed my life was by a woman living in England. She shared how infertility had cost her a marriage, friendships, and even led her into depression. She had suffered a lot. 

Until one day someone asked her a powerful question: 

“Do you want to be a mom, or do you want to get pregnant?” 

When she understood the depth of that question, she chose the path of adoption. 

You can imagine my reaction when I read that post. It felt like she was speaking directly to me. And what I wanted more than anything in the world was to be a mom.

Cuando mi esposo llegó del trabajo, le conté lo que había leído, lo mucho que  me había marcado esa historia, él simplemente me escuchaba atento a cada palabra y al terminar me dijo:

“A mi me gusta esa idea, vamos a averiguar un poco más cómo es ese proceso,  yo no estoy tan convencido con el tema del tratamiento”.

A New Path… Full of Peace

Being who I am, I didn’t waste time. The next day, I called an adoption agency some friends had recommended. The receptionist told me that, coincidentally, they were having an information session the following week and that we were welcome to attend. I immediately said yes, that we’d go—and we did. I still remember how I felt when we arrived. The session was held the second week of May, on a Wednesday.

There were three other couples and two social workers in the conference room. They explained the international adoption process, focusing on a program with Colombia. But since we didn’t have Colombian citizenship, that option would take longer for us. At the end of the session, the social workers approached us and asked why we were considering international adoption instead of domestic infant adoption. 

We had no idea what they were talking about. We didn’t know that it was possible to adopt newborn babies in the U.S. I thought my heart was going to burst as they explained the process. I kept squeezing my husband’s hand to remind myself I wasn’t dreaming. On the drive home, we talked about how we felt, and we both agreed: there was this sense of peace we couldn’t quite explain. We felt different after that session.

The Decision That Gave Shape to Our Dream

The next morning, I called the social worker and said: 

“We’re ready to begin the Infant Domestic Adoption process.” (a process for private domestic infant adoption in the US) 

The process that would make our dream come true. 

My Motherhood Began Here

After five years of trying, my journey to motherhood finally felt closer, more real. Filled with hope, uncertainty, but with so much faith that this was our path.

Grateful to have you here, heart to heart.

Melli